Upon hearing you’re going to live with mother-in-low after wedding, your girlfriends probably will be shocked. However, it happens that a young family has no opportunity to live separately. What to do?

The main problem - sharing spheres of influence. Every woman needs a home, and once you leave your home due to husband, you are entitled to expect a new place will become your new home.

Love? Simply - respect

If you decided to live with mother-in-low, you become a member of her family. Determine for yourself whether you are satisfied with mother-in-law, as person in general? Ask yourself whether you are ready to consider a husband’s mum a member of your family?

Defining boundaries

Everyone’s boundaries are located in different places. Living in a house with a new person, who belongs to another generation, and emerged as a personality in totally different conditions is only possible, if you remember every moment: you and mother-in-law are completely different.

Do not rely on intuition, it will do only harm in this situation. Discuss the joint life beforehand, and, where possible, find out everything openly and in detail. Remember that your marital status is lower than that of mother-in-law for a variety of reasons: she is a mother of your husband, she is older, she is a mistress of the house where you’re going to live. First of all you are interested in building a good relationship with her, so do not wait when she shares her views with you. Start a conversation first.

Discuss with her husband financial issues before the move. You should clearly know the direction financial flows run in a family. The difference in ages and tastes often hamper having a common budget and live peacefully - at the same time. A young woman is far more interested in the way she looks. In most cases, separate budget with common household is preferred.

Tips and Tricks

* 1 Be prepared to learn cooking. It is in your interests: the more your kitchen remindis «mother’s», the more your husband will love you. You can somehow enrich home menu. Juxtaposition of your habits typically leads a young family to separate budget and purchase of a personal refrigerator.

* 2 Any mother-in-low is delighted when “daughter” asks advice. Be careful: take her recommendations kindly, but not swear you will certainly use them, show you have the right to decide yourself. Not all mothers-in-law are infinitely wise, otherwise «second mom» may take umbrage at your disregard for her care.

* 3 Maintain a harmonious balance between autonomy and civility. If you consult with her every 5 minutes, she will find you know nothing.

* 4 Do not give in to provocations like: «Work (study), I will do everything». This may be said sincerely, but after six months, mother-in-law will not be pleased. At best, she will find you a lazy one.

* 5 Outline a zone of your integrity. Maintain order in your room. Immediately tell, if you do not like it when a closed door is opened without knocking. There is nothing terrible, if you ask husband putting a parallel telephone in your room: Who likes to talk while someone strange is listening?

* 6 Do not complain your husband at mother-in-law. Popular female mistake - thinking that son can settle differences between the two most loved women better than they themselves. On the contrary, any man gets nervous being caught: in fact he is forced to «choose», but he does not intend to do so.

* 7 Do not quarrel with husband in mother’s-in-low presence and ask him to express frustration only in private.

* 8 Do not torment yourself with vain attempts to love mother-in-law, if it is not possible. Keep in mind: to love mother-in-law, one should marry a brother, and that is, fortunately, not possible.