It would be a mistake to think that we entered the age of sexual freedom, when any adult knows all that you can know about sexuality. Sex remains a closed topic for many of us - this is sexual performance, which is executed for ourselves.

We are victims of pornography and misinformation, and most of all, we, women, are still victims of shame. Even in our time, with a large quantity of available information on sex, published in books and magazines, many women do not possess a sufficient level of erotic education and sexual knowledge.

We receive letters from young girls who enter sexual life, and women who already have sexual experience. They want to get answers to questions that concern them.

Big and small
I’m a very tall girl.  One fellow is dating me, he is far below me. My pilot girlfriend says I should not engage in serious relationship with him, and look for a suitable partner of my height. In her view, my friend will not be able to satisfy me in bed. Так ли это? Is that so?

No. This is not the case. Your friend is mistaken. It is known that, in terms of physiology, size of penis has not critical meaning attributed to it. Relationship of both partners’ genitals, and knowledge of techniques of sexual intercourse are more important. In addition, it was found that an undersized man, as a rule, is developing in sexual relationship faster and has pronounced genitals. Tall males show reverse pattern. Many young people of tall height have so-called «monastic body» and weakly expressed genitals. However, a woman of corresponding height and body has a sufficiently developed genitals.

Coitus interruptus
- Sometimes we do not use a condom. Husband stops close to the start of sexual orgasm. Will this prevent me from an unwanted pregnancy?

Method of interrupted intercourse is very common, but is a low-quality means of contraception. A man interrupts sex act just before ejaculation, which occurs outside vagina. Success means a man’s ability to interrupt act before first sperm release. Using this method, with psychological point of view, requires from a man very high standards and means stress for both partners. Prolonged use of this method may adversely affect partners’ ability to get full sexual satisfaction. This method is unreliable, as sperm can get into vagina before ejaculation, along with secretion from glands.

Sexual «component» of marriage
- Recently, a young man made me a proposal. Frankly speaking, he has too many shortcomings! At the same time, I get incredibly strong feeling from closeness with him. He is amazing in bed. They say that good sex is a 90% guarantee of family happiness. Is that so?

Sexual attraction pushes to link your destiny with somebody else’s, but it does not guarantee nor prosperity, neither strength, and durability of relationships. A desire to create a happy union is carried out through taking into account compatibility with a man in other spheres of life. We do not spend all our time in bed. Sexual satisfaction, of course, plays an important role in life, however, daily full spousal relationships include much more parameters. It happens, that at some time, for various reasons, sexual closeness stops. However, human bonds, respect, friendship and love may continue to grow, bring joy. There are limitless possibilities to get pleasure from each other through a solid, intellectual, emotional contact.

Safe position for pregnant
- I’m expecting a child. I gladly read magazine articles, addressed to pregnant women. I still could not obtain an answer to my question: what position during sex is the safest?

This is a position, when a woman is turned to a man with her back and they both lie on sides. Position «rear side» gives partners same opportunities to manage sexual act and at the same time, allows everyone to save strength. For women, this position is possible even on late terms of pregnancy. Movement may be almost invisible, so the posture is also acceptable in cases, where wife and husband are deprived of intimate atmosphere. Pose corresponds to a normal position of man and woman while sleeping.

Sex mad
- My husband is too keen on sex. Is this a disease?

Sex is a natural part of our life, that can not be rationed. A young healthy man can wish intimacy every day and not once. But when need for sex is becoming too high, sex negatively affects the relationship, a man has no control over his desires, it is already a problem. Sexoholics - people whose conduct is sexually independent and determined are called this way. Most sexoholics are usually married men.

Main pathological signs, depending on sex: casual sex with unfamiliar and sometimes strange women, passion for pornography, contact with prostitutes, use of telephone sex services, sexual fantasies with elements of masochism and other more serious sexual disorders. The determining factor is not the number of partners and frequency of sex, but inability to control one’s sexual desires, which leads to problems of social plan.

Scientific data indicate that sexoholics typically have difficulty with genuine intimacy. Here comes a substitution of concepts: depression, excessive excitement, stress - all of these problems can be solved by sex, while sex, above all, is a natural consequence of love. In most cases, this disorder is formed in childhood or adolescence, as a result of violence or harassment. Sexual addiction is a pathological condition with a manifestation of mental disorders, and intervention of specialists is necessary here.

Sports classes instead of love
- My husband spends all his free time in a gym. Can sport replace sex?

This happens only when a person spends too much time and effort on exercise. An experiment was carried out, in which men who run more than 50 miles a week, were asked: if they would have a choice - sex or race, what they would prefer? Several men said they probably would have refused from sex.

The fall of interest in sex among those fascinated by fanatical exercise and sport, is due, perhaps, overwork, that lowers the level of testosterone in blood, and that this passion requires great emotional expences. But, of course, most men, reasonably engaged in physical education, does not refer to such people, and regular exercise only improves their sexual ability.

Women’s excitability
- Recently, during a quarrel my husband accused me of coldness and called frigid. What women are frigid?

According to many modern professionals, there are no frigid women, but there are women who are sexually awaken and non-awaken. However, it should be recognized that in matters of women’s excitability and cold, psychologists and physicians-sexologists still have many questions. Some talk about a woman’s constitution, attribute something to anatomical features of an organism. Others are inclined to believe that women’s excitability plays a role related to sex, mortgaged upbringing, personal experiences, that learnt each woman responding to sexual closeness individually.

You also need to learn more about yourselves, women’s and men’s body in general, put aside all doubts about your ability to fully and harmoniously experience sexual feelings. Perhaps it’s not your problem, but your husband’s: his sexual experience is completely unusable, or not preferred by you. Try to expand your activities, and your relationship will gain completeness, poignancy and harmony. Female shame, shyness, constraint during intimacy water down sexual feelings and impressions of both woman and man.

Andropause

I am twenty-seven years old, my husband is forty-two years. Recently I noticed that his sexual activity significantly weakened. Is there a male menopause?

Many men believe that this concept was invented by women. In fact, it is not. Andropause - a real process, which proceeds in a male body. This process is characterized as a reverse puberty. There appear changes in sexual sphere - reduction of sexuality, changing of psychological background - there are fatigue, depression, reduced bone density, increasing weight. Andropause shows a decrease in level of main hormone - testosterone, which makes a man of a man.

Andropause is quite a long process, the level of testosterone declines gradually, in most cases, very slowly (about 1% annually). That is why men do not show visible changes, believing that they are just absent. According to researchers, andropause begins after forty years, when men face above-mentioned problems.

If a man is sick
- Currently, my husband is seriously ill, not mobile, has a weak erection. However, doctor strongly advised me not to interrupt our sex, so that my husband would not panic and lose no male power in future. Which position is most appropriate in this case?

This is «face to face» position, in which a woman lies or sits on a man. «Horsewoman» variant is the most common. In this case, a man is rather passive, a woman chooses intensity and rhythm of movements by herself.

While this position is not so responsible for a man, it is convenient, when he is sick or just recovering. In addition, this option allows a man to maintain force in the process of longer sexual intercourse. Relations will remain intense, even while lack of male erection.

A woman can lie down, squeezing to a partner closely, can sit leaning back, leaning against stretched arms or holding man’s knees. Sometimes «horsewoman» position seems insufficiently feminine for a woman. Pudency prevents her from allowing a man seeing upper part of her body and reaction to satisfaction expressed on her face. In your case there is no need to think about false modesty, moreover, you should be the strongest visual stimulus for husband.