I think any reader have ever become a victim. A victim of other people. Hazing in the army, intrigues at work, violence at home and school.

Everyone of us was a victim at least once and you probably have not the most pleasant memories about it. By the way, the author of the article - is no exception. However, there are people, who fall into these situations constantly, know this well, and nevertheless, constantly cathes on the same rake. This is a victim complex, which will be discussed in this article.

Why a specific, single person becomes a victim? In my opinion, it is difficult to identify the main reason, because there are some of them.

The first of them - low self-esteem. The one who does not value himself usually is not appreciated by other people. As a result, a person is regurly “used” at work, pay little money, in case of failures he is the one to blame. Smell of blood attracts predators.

Roots of low self-esteem hide in childhood. Since early age a child is told that he is awkward, fat, forgetful, distracted, slouching … and then people sincerely wonder why he has such character. In my opinion, there are things that should not be told to a child at all, do not focus on the problem - and he will simply grow over it. And if you really want to reproach someone - start with parents.

A child stutters? From the fact that you’re yelling at him, he will not talk better, rather the opposite, so address to a speech therapist. Has excess weight? Review diet, try to inculcate interest in sports. Of course, it is much easier to critisize, than work constructively to solve problems.

Reason second - over-reliance on other people’s views. The one who cares only about how he will look in the eyes of others, can be imposed anything. Starting from regular alcohol consumption (if I do not drink - everyone will think I’m looser) to purchase of all kinds of useless things.

Have you ever thought, why modern swindlers prefer to deal with «family couples»? Because a man is like a peacock spreading his tail (well, how much I have to pay for this «luxury vacation», one thousand dollars, three, five?), puffs out cheeks and starts behaving like a landlord. A man struggles trying to behave like a cool boy, and as a result he is cheated on. The moral - it is certainly good to respect other people’s views, but it would be better to have your own opinion and not to be afraid of expressing it.

Reason third - fear of «sudden movements». By the way, education is very important here. At school, the army, and often a family a man is taught to «be, as all», and the slightest manifestation of individualism is immediately stopped. Unusual situations require unusual actions. Nevertheless, some people are afraid to go beyond stereotypes. And education plays a greater role here. Cheaters understood this fact long ago and actively use it in everyday activities. For example, according to statistics, men become victims of street robberies more often. Why? Because they are shy to shout loudly…

Sometimes, those who want to cheat on you pre-build a situation in a way that you behave like «all». All came to the presentation, everyone is listening, ready to do what they are expected to, all take purses and pay.

So, before you decide, do not hesitate to ask any, even, at first glance, idiotic questions. By the way, when a person asks, he already thinks and does not go as a sheep for the herd. Many mobs are trying to force a victim to hurry, hurry-scurry. (Today and only today you can buy goods at a discount, now we have the ad day, tomorrow will be too late, etc.)

As for shyness, it can cost you a lot. Think what is more important for you, integrity of your purse or people’s opinion, whom you see in the first and last time.

Reason fourth - excessive demands to ourselves. A person was warned since childhood that he simply must do everything well, so he is trying to «meet the ideal». He cannot just sit and relax for some time, he is always missing something.

Someone is missing stylish clothes, someone - car, someone - apartment, someone - villa near Monaco. Constant frustration pushes us into cheaters’ arms. As a result, people are investing money in all sorts of dubious activities, financial pyramids, courses. And some even go into exile to amusement machines - what a wonderful investment.

Other example - a girl is waiting for her courageous Prince, a young, beautiful, smart, rich. I knew such person, a very beautiful lady. Imagine, she nearly waited! Nearly, because at the last moment it turned out that the guy had no higher education. At that time, the age of beauty was rapidly approaching thirty, however, she and her parents refused that young man. The principle «all or nothing» is suitable only for extreme situations, and it brings only harm in everyday life.

And finally, a fifth reason - fear of failure. «Who will take me after divorce?» - a woman thinks and continues living with bad husband. «If I move to another job, I can have problems there», - an employee thinks, and continues working for the minimum wage.

If you are afraid of something, try to imagine that the worst has already happened. You have been deprived of bonuses or even fired, your husband left home and now terrorizes other women with his booze. I think you will be surprised to notice that the world has not yet collapsed.

As for excessive caution, it may seem strange, modern cheaters also use this quality. Recall what organizers of various firms and other financial pyramids said to potential customers? Do not trust bank, bring money to us. People believed … Do not trust travel agencies - their modern followers say. Buy our certificates - and you will become co-owners of luxury apartments in the best resorts in the world in a fantastic country Chaeffa …

As we can see, much depends on the individual. At worst, if you can not change the situation, then you can always change your attitude to it.