“Mum, do not go to work!” Do you often hear such words from a child? And after all these words can mean not just whims, but conceal in themselves real deficiency of heat and dialogue with parents. How to resist to it ?
Today many parents feel necessity to give more and more attention to work and career … One of the reasons is aim to provide a kid’s present and future: food, toys, vitamins, study, rest etc. Many mums start working early, though just at this time (2-3-4-5 years) - a child especially needs parental dialogue and attention, participation and empathy. It is very important that close people would be near him, to ask them numerous questions and receive answers, share pleasure and experiences.
Financial possibility to provide a child with all necessary is, certainly, important. But at the same time, probably, even in a greater degree, a child needs firm belief he is loved and that his openings are important to his associates.
It is difficult to believe, namely at such early age a child’s perception of world is developed and fixeded for all human life. Depending on how loved, desired and demanded a kid feels – his belief «I am good» or «I am not good» and behaviour in society «I am good» - «They are good», «I am good» - they are bad “, “I am bad” - they are good», «I am bad» - «they, and all around are bad» is formed internally. These children’s belief, possibly, remain with him during whole life, and a child makes vital decisions on their basis. Parents are the closest and most necessary people to a kid. His future and, more globally, destiny depend on parents. The base to further successful development and formation, effective activity of adult person in society is formed here too. Therefore it is necessary to concern this question extremely attentively and seriously.
Feelings a kid experiences, can be expressed in raised irritability, whims and hysterics, ignoring of parental requests, sleep disorders, long adaptation in children’s collective (mum says he should play with children), display of aggression in games, relation to contemporaries etc.
It is clear that we do not speak about mums working at-home, and daddies coming home right after lunch. It is impossible. But if you have seen similar phrases or grief in your kid’s eyes – you should support him during such responsible and difficult period of growing, acquaintance to adult life.
Say your child HE IS GOOD! That you love him! Explain a kid that everyone has duties. He should gather toys after game, parents should go to work, cook, tide up etc.
Play with yout kid! Certainly, you got tired, and there is already no time for a game in the evenings – but nevertheless, prefer your child and his requirements, rather than usual evening ritual – TV, kitchen, computer and work continuation …
Be interested in not only what a kid ate in a garden and whether he slept, but also with whom he played, what mood his friend had, what game they thought up today. Try not to be limited to usual formalities.
Think out together, dream, ask his opinions, a couple of minutes of real emotional bond is a hundred times more important and expensive, than formal dialogue. Say what you feel: weariness from work, insult because of disobedience, pleasure, and pride for your wonderful child. Learn your child sharing with you his ideas, reflexions, doubts, fears.
Share with him affairs, plans for the weekend, tell why you were late from work today – talk to a child sincerely and in an adult way – he will necessarily estimate and understand it. If you promised something for the weekend: circus, roundabouts or just family football at a stadium – keep your promise.
Carry out house duties in common: entrust ware washing, vacuum cleaner, etc. - this will give a chance to spend more time together and diversify your dialogue with kid. At the same time you will also show a zone of each family member’s responsibility.
In due course, a baby will get used to a new mode, way of life, get on well in collective. Maturing, he will strive for contemporaries more and often reconciles to constant absence of parents and parental attention and dialogue will be less necessary to him. But he will still love, wait you from work, wait for the moment to tell about things in a garden, show new things he learnt – all this will be, if you learn being really close with your child, even at catastrophic deficiency of time, being the closest and dearest person and reliable friend.