Do you see your children fighting all the time? Your role naturally as their parent will be to teach them self-control and give them wisdom: it isn’t easy, but it can be accomplished. Kids can fight for the silliest reasons that seem utterly illogical–even humorous to adults–but it can become a friendship maker or breaker in the minds of young children. It becomes more complex as problems like favoritism and sibling rivalry may get in.
Parents usually get frustrated with frequent sibling flights and loose control over their patience. This further aggravates the situation. The best approach to keep things under control is to maintain a cool and calm attitude. Do not over-react, as it will worsen the things. On the contrary, it would be better to keep mum but watchful. Parents also have to take up a non-judgmental stance and try to stay out from fights of the children.
Most kid fights are merely annoying squabbles and adult intervention delays the process of children working it out themselves. Fighting is often a way for kids to get attention–and for some kids, negative attention is better than none at all. If adults ignore the fighting and don’t let it become a “center stage” in the home or location, it becomes less of a reason to do it.
Taking sides or doling out punishment differently sets the stage for labeling victims and bullies. In most cases, the punishment should be the same: no exceptions. Always set the ground rules of what can be done and what can’t to resolve an issue (for example, yelling, crying, or hitting or definite problem-solving no-no’s). Ask them to come up with ideas, and then let try them. You might be surprised at their solutions, and they may know what works best.
Once the fight is over, make your child understand the importance of reconciliation. Explain the situation to your child and ask him/her whether his/her deed was right or wrong. This will enable him/her to sort out problems on his/her own. Show your trust and confidence in your children and make them realize that they can handle things on their own.
You can also calm down children who are fighting by diverting their attention to somewhere else. Involve them in some interesting activity. If the situation turns out to get out of control and it seems that someone might get hurt, then intervene immediately.
The key point is to ignore fighting and then to lavish attention when they’re caught acting right. Children will quickly get that hint. Your responsibility as a parent isn’t to make everything right all the time but to prepare your children for life. There will be differences in treatment and your children will be disappointed, but they can learn to deal with it. It’s a valuable lesson to learn.
Parents need to take necessary precautions while dealing with the children who, as poor actions would lead to rivalry and hatred between siblings. Parents are the role models for their children and they must act reasonably.
Don’t stop helping the one who needs it just so that you spend an equal amount of time with her brother. Don’t allow your children to pressure you into measuring and assessing everything so that it’s ‘fair’.
Avoid getting into conversations involving, “Look how much you’ve upset your little sister,” because that may have been the intention. Also avoid “How would you like it if someone hit/bit/pinched you?” Just now the offending child has very little interest in compassion.
If you take these simple steps every time, the level of scrapping will drop considerably. Eventually, all you will have to do is approach them “heavy-footed” and the fighting will stop.