Comments on: Break up with a married man!

By: Lashon

Lashon — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:35:17 +0000

hello ladies, I finally got the strength to break up with my married man, I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest repeatedly. How could things have changed and I wasn’t in on the change, but I felt every bit of it, I just didn’t want to believe. I thought because I treated him better, I would win, NOT. It got to the point where I didn’t have enough strength to fight a battle I kept losing. Karma is a bitch, and Im paying for every bit of my actions because I could have and should have walked away the first day he approached. Im learning a hard lesson. I never thought I would put myself in a predicament like this. Now Im cryin like someone died. I just want to feel normal again. Its been almost two weeks, why do I feel like crap still, I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO

By: Jesssa

Jesssa — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 22:28:19 +0000

Each tear and every hour I lay staring into space nightly…the steps into the office that make me sick to my stomach (we work together)each glare from my coworkers, each panic attack, and every piece of my heart that is in pieces…that is my repayment back for my mistake. How/why I did it is besides the point. I was his second, he my first and last MM…his indifference is my repayment to his wife. I can’t focus on karma for him or telling her…I have a feeling they will always be together. He learned from me…not to say “I love you” he will be much more careful next time. I don’t need to be kicked when I’m down, I just need hope and strength for all that lies ahead, I need to know that loving a MM is the ultimate mistake. Wise woman out there that have overcome all this, please tell me I will hold my head up once again, that he’s Good-bye was a gift from up above. That I can leave all this behind and never look back…and stand strong.

By: Marian

Marian — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 08:49:47 +0000

Hey, michelle. tell him that you are in a trouble and u need some money from him (may be 10000$). i am sure he won’t help. this way you can easily break up. Believe me.

By: Dell

Dell — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 05:37:48 +0000

well, i am in the same situation. Had an affair with a married man and broke up. I know it was bad, but i got the love i expected from a man. I did it considering his wife. I felt sorry for her and walked away from him while he was crying. Am I happy now??? No way! I die in every second. Am burning inside. Am I paying for what I have done to his wife??? No. I lost a wonderful life, a wonderful man, a wonderful love i will never have again. where is that “honest, sweet, loving, careful, who will never cheat or betray, but a SINGLE one”??????? Is he available in the market or can hang a board ‘I am looking for ……….” on my neck and stand on the roadside??? i never met such a man even b4 i met him. Will I meet in the future??? What I have to say is that I did a sacrifice and now I am suffering a lot. It’s true I wouldn’t have had a future with him if i had been with him either. Am I mad?????

By: belle.dujour

belle.dujour — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 20:54:05 +0000

Ugh. And that pretty much describes my state of mind at the moment. I have recently been “broken up with” by a married but separated man and I am sleepwalking thru my days and nights.

We have known each other six months. We met online through a website for booklovers, no less. He currently lives and works in Bermuda, his wife resides in the UK. They have three children, two of the older ones are at boarding school there, the youngest (seven) is in the UK with her mother.

Long story short: he said his marriage was floundering…that his wife had told him she loved him, but was not in love with him. She (apparently) told him that he should find someone else. He is a very successful man (lawyer)…he and I began emailing in January…this soon progressed to phone calls, text messages, and invariably, phone sex (yes, I know, I know)…about halfway thru all of this, they tell the children they are legally separating and remove their wedding rings. He says “We do not want to stay together for the sake of the children”…they take a skiing holiday with the children before this announcement. He is devastatated at first, at the children’s reaction (he keeps me informed of all that is happening).

Soon after this, the revelation that his wife is reading a book about “I love you but I’m not in love with you”…and I begin to feel the metaphorical nail in the coffin of my “relationship” with him. He says he is in love with me (he said it first actually)…he says he wants to have a better understanding of his head and heart, etc…

We agree, after six months of emotional intensity, to meet…this past week, he flies from Bermuda, to see me, on the east coast of the US. We spend two hours kissing passionately, he tells me he has always dreamt of being kissed in this way. He says he wants to “woo” me…he brought recipes with him of things we could cook. He has booked a room at a local bed and breakfast and spends the first night there, but the next day, we go shopping for ingredients for our dinner which he cooks for me later that evening. He buys me flowers.

Later in the day, we have our “siesta” and I give him oral sex (something he claimed his wife had NEVER done in their entire marriage as she did not find it “palatable”)…he says that I have given him the most intense orgasm of his life. He spends the night, we do not have sex (I was having my period and having just “met” him in a physical sense, did not feel comfortable doing this)…

The next morning, he does the dishes, brings me breakfast in bed, and returns to the B&B to shower and have breakfast. I join him there later (its very close to where I live)…he then proceeds to tell me that he just does not have the “spark” for me in his heart that he thought he would, that he just is, in his words, “Not feeling it in the way that I hoped I would”…and so, in less than 48 hours, I have been wooed, given him the most intense orgasm of his life and now, he is saying that there is “no spark”…his flight was scheduled to leave the next day at 5pm; he maintains an emotional stoicism saying he is sorry and then, later, breaks down sobbing admitting that he still is in love with his wife and can not divide his heart.

He says he does not “love me enough” and that “I don’t love you to the exclusion of others” and yet, he contradicts himself by saying, “If it were just you and I we could work thru these complications”…he said at one point, “I could see the virtue of having a mistress as it would be the best sex of my life but I can not do that with you and I won’t do that with you”…he says in the next breath, “I need more time” and then “We should have never met”…I told him I would change my number when he suggested that we still keep in touch. in three months time to see if he can put his marriage back together.

So, my question is: what do I believe? Did he ever care about me? Was he, in fact, in love with me but perhaps scared of his feelings for me and so said that he wasn’t feeling the connection in his heart? Do I believe that? Or, was he just using me all along (its a hell of a lot of trouble to go to just for some oral sex isn’t it, I keep thinking?)…

He has devastated me. I keep thinking its because I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough, good enough even tho I know it is ridiculous to think so. I have contact numbers for him in Bermuda and the UK but have not contacted him nor do I plan to do so. He brought me housewarming gifts (I recently moved) and now I feel as tho I need to send them back as I want no reminders of him. He was so harsh and emotionally cold and unresponsive to me on Friday when all of this occurred. He said he felt “uncomfortable” because he couldn’t say “I love you” to me…what am I to believe about all of this?!

My head is absolutely spinning with questions and the level of rejection I am feeling is so very intense it is all I can do to function.

Any thoughts and or advice would be most appreciated, thank you.

By: Chris

Chris — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:37:28 +0000

I think this site is for woman seeking help falling in love with married men….not for wives to bash. If you were the perfect wife your husbands wouldnt be looking elsewhere. I was cheated on and I was also with a married man. His wife never told him she loved him first….never initiated sex with him. I am the perfect woman to the man I am having the affair with, yet I am the cold wife to my husband who cheated on me. Bottom line is people fall out of love, lose the passion and go elsewhere. I can tell you women one thing though if his kids are not grown he is never leaving his wife. “One day babe”, “We have to plan babe we cant rush this” “I love you more then anyone I have ever loved” its all lies…wake up and smell the coffee….he is not leaving!!!!! He has his cake and he is eating it to why leave??

By: sylvia

sylvia — Sat, 28 May 2011 22:41:22 +0000

To the woman who are lashing out at these women. Ask yourself why are you going after these women? jealousy? envy? anger that should be directed at your cheating husband?
The women here are not to blame. These men do not take no for an answer. I can not tell you how many times the one i was with and i broke up. I would not talk to him for even a year at a time and he always found a way to contact me, even after i moved.
The men are to blame here, they are bored at home, you are a busy wife and perhaps mother and these selfish little boys don’t want to share your attention so they go looking for some elsewhere. Once they find what they want and need, and trust me they exploit women terribly, they want to stick with it no matter what. who wants to break in another person? This one is better than a wife, you don’t have to listen to her, put up with her family and friends, take her places, be there for birthdays, holidays. They are perfect. There is no way they will accept them walking away.
Before you throw another women under the bus, think about who has the most to gain by cheating? the guy or the woman he is lying to? Another thing you should know, many of these men, mine included, tell women they are not married and it is not until they are involved with them that the issue comes up. Go on the dating sites, most of those men are married, It is absolutely disgusting. You don’t dare even talk to a guy cause chances are he is married and lying about it.

By: sylvia

sylvia — Sat, 28 May 2011 22:25:43 +0000

Michelle, I know how you feel. I was in an affair with a married man for 5 years. His children have all grown now and he still refuses to leave.
They rarely do. At first this affair worked for me because i was separated but when my ex died, leaving me free, it changed.
The best advise i have had is to walk away. No contact. Not even friends. It really hurts alot at first, but as the days go on you begin to realize that you don’t need him as much as he needed you. You are free to go and live your life with no restraints and he is not.
Find things to keep your mind busy and off of him, take a class, for fun or for education, volunteer, walk, jog, garden. Anything that you enjoy and makes you happy. You deserve it. oh yeah remind yourself everyday that you deserve better than someone who lies and cheats, because if he lied to her and he lied to you, he will always be a liar and who needs that? Best of luck. you can do it.

By: michelle

michelle — Fri, 27 May 2011 09:46:33 +0000

hi ,i have an affair wit a maried man for a year now,he said he gona leave his wife for me,he said he need a little time to leave her.but i know in my heart that he is not gona leave her,i realy wana break up with him but i dnt know wer to start,i realy love him but i have to get my own man,i have to let go of him,please help me i realy wana end up this affair,where do i start

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 04:19:55 +0000

Hello ladies…I’m in the same boat as most of you. I’ve been in a “relationship” with a married man for 2 1/2 years now. We’ve broken up and immediately gotten back together again (many times). I am madly and deeply in love with him. At the same time, I also realize how he manipulates and uses me for his own selfish purposes. I’m ready to get out. It’s just terribly difficult. However, I know that it’s the right thing to do. No more listening to his lies and empty promises. No more sitting alone waiting for him to call or stop by. No more living with the pain and guilt of knowing that I’m ruining a marriage and the lives of 3 children (as well as 2 of my own). I’m not proud of what I’ve done. I am far from perfect, however, I realize the error of my ways and want to change for the better. I guess that I just needed to put it out there for someone else to read. That way, it makes it more “real” for me.

To all of you who bash women who are in love with married men, I would wager that there are quite a few skeletons in your closet as well. So I would strongly suggest that you take a look in the mirror and fix what you see before you attempt to judge others based on your “morality.” Judgement is reserved for God, and God alone. Don’t you think we know what others must think of us? The names you call us and the hatred you spew at us is nothing compared to the guilt and shame that we live with on a daily basis. So save your breath. Those who live in glass houses should not cast stones. And it appears to me that we have a neighborhood of glass homes here. Instead, try being understanding and supportive to women who have lost their way and are attempting to find some sense of direction.

Just my story and my two cents worth… Good luck, ladies!